I have so many thoughts running through my head right now, I don't even know where to start.
Unless you've been on a desert island for the last month, I'm going to assume you've heard of 13 Reasons Why - a new show on Netflix based on the bestselling book by Jay Asher. I won't go into all of the details because it's deep and there are plenty of articles out there if you really want to know more about it in depth, but the gist is that the protagonist, Hannah Baker, commits suicide and leaves tapes for specific people who she claims are one of the reasons why she went through with it.
I wasn't going to say anything about this show. I was going to leave my opinions to myself and let people come to their own conclusions. But I have been shocked by the amount of backlash this show has gotten. Blogs and articles have been written slamming this show for glorifying suicide and making it an option for kids. They say that this show is horrible because it's full of profanity and shows things that shouldn't be seen - like rape, violence and suicide. They say that this show doesn't give any other option than suicide if you're depressed or feel like you're alone. They say it makes suicide glamorous.
I say that's bull.
This show is dark, intense, dramatic and yes, hard to watch at times. But it does anything but glorify suicide, sex, or bullying. It's actually just the opposite. It's real.
It's not pretty. It's not glamorous. It's not a feel good, inspiring show. But I think it's one of the most important things you and your teen could watch right now.
We live in an age where everyone has an opinion and everyone speaks their mind. Thanks to social media bullying is at an all time high because anyone, can say anything, at anytime and hide behind a keyboard. We've lost sight of how important our words are. We're divided. We've been taught to hate people who disagree with us and all you have to do is turn on the news to see that we have become an overly sensitive, hyper sensitive, bullying culture. There used to be two sayings you were taught when you were little. "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" and "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me". We have abandoned the first one and convinced ourselves that we're weak if we don't live by the second one. But that saying couldn't be more false. 13 Reasons Why exposes this.
Words have power. Whether we choose to realize this or not, it's a fact. Words can build us up or tear us down. They can make someone's day or they can push people to the edge. They can cut deeper and leave scars longer than even some physical scars that will heal with time. Words have power.
Now some people might say that I don't know what I'm talking about. That they're older and wiser and I couldn't possibly understand what this show could do to the psyche of the viewer. They might say that they just want to protect their kids and shelter them from the horrors in this show. I understand that. I'm not trying to tell anyone how to parent. I've just been a teenager a little more recently than they have. I have also been bullied and depressed. I've had suicidal thoughts, been through the suicide of a close family member and have heard the story and pain of another person close to me who has gone through a horrible rape. I'm well aware of the horrors that are shown in this show. But that's the point - these things need to be seen and talked about.
Depression is real.
Rape is real.
Bullying is real.
Suicide is real.
These are not comfortable subjects to think or talk about. These are things that I wish didn't exist and try to push out of my mind because every time I think about any of it - what I've been through or what people close to me have been through - it breaks my heart. But there are people dealing with these things every single day. There are countless teenagers who are hiding in their rooms or bathrooms cutting themselves just to feel something. There are so many people out there who feel all alone and feel like no-one would understand them. They feel like the pain is so overwhelming and like there's no one who cares. 13 Reasons Why shows them that they're not alone. That bad things happen to good people. That people can be jerks and if you're being bullied, it's not your fault. But ultimately, it shows the finality and horror of taking your own life.
People say it's too graphic. I say it's necessary. Suicide is not beautiful. Suicide is not easy. Suicide is serious and it is final. It needs to be shocking to show people how serious this really is. There is no beauty in it. It's horrifying. People say that it will make more kids commit suicide. To that I say if a person is considering suicide because of 13 reasons why, their problems have started way before this show and they would be considering it with or without it. The show is not going to be the root cause. Be alert, be aware and reach out to anyone who is seeming depressed or withdrawn. Even if they fight you or don't open up, don't give up. They need you. Desperately.
I don't think I have seen anything as important as this show in a very long time. It gets people thinking and hopefully, it helps people become better, nicer people. To show teens what not to do. To give people a reality check and make people more aware of their surroundings and the people who are reaching out for someone, ANYONE to listen to them. I hope it makes people more accepting and I hope it helps people be a better friend... I hope it makes people think and reach out the next time they see the kid all alone at school or work with no one to talk to and no friends. I hope it makes people better listeners. More present. I hope it makes girls and guys have the courage to speak out if they've been assaulted or raped. But more than anything, I hope it shows how important what we say and do is. Words have power and actions have consequences. Spread love and light in this world and remember, high school doesn't last forever, but the way you make people feel will.
So, I hope you watch this show. I hope you learn something from it, even if you're not a teenager. I hope you start the conversations with your kids that aren't comfortable and I hope you realize that these things NEED to be discussed, not just shoved under the rug.
Also, if you're reading this and your world seems dark - like there's no way out except suicide, IT'S A LIE. I have been there. I know the pain. But I also know that there is help out there and that it does get better. You are WAY too important and special to leave this earth. You are here on this planet for a reason. You have a purpose and you matter. Don't listen to the voice inside your head that says the people around you and this world would be a much better place without you. It's not true. Don't deprive the world of your light. There will NEVER be another you. PLEASE talk to someone. Anyone. A friend, a parent, a teacher, a pastor, a grandparent... I promise, someone will listen and people care. You are loved. If you ever doubt that, please read the blog I wrote from the family's perspective of a suicide victim here. The world will be an empty, dark place without you. Please stay.
So, stop bashing this show. Stop saying it's "too much" and please, open your eyes to the world your kids live in every day. The kinds of things they go through and encounter and are faced with, even if you don't know it. Please don't try to hide from it. Face it.
I hope you see my side of this debate. I hope you see the good in this show and I hope it changes you for the better.
Until next time...
<3 Brooke
Help options:
(Suicide prevention hotline: 1-800-273-8255)
(https://afsp.org/find-support)
(https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/)
